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Undead Follies Chapter 1
Story by Koss_Knights.
The tides of a full-scale war are in motion. The air is ripe and the land is ready for major conflict. The wind picks up and mortal men shiver…shiver at the unknown, which may very well lurk right under their noses. They sleep in their safe, tidy little cabins, never knowing what will soon coincide. They are oblivious, and the villagers do nothing but think of their petty little lives… A top a cliff, over looking a village, a dreadlord eyes the surrounding terrain with interest…with him, a young death knight.
Dreadlord: The time has come…. mwhahaahahaahhha-cough, hack, cough, hahahhahah!
Death Knight: Want a cough drop?
Dreadlord: No, I’m fine. Nothing like a fatal lung disease to get the old heart pumping.
Death Knight: What are we doing here, anyway?
Dreadlord: That’s a good idea…oh, right. Ahem, hand me the relic!
Death Knight: I’m right next to you, no need to scream it in my ear. Why are you always so melodramatic?
Dreadlord: How dare you judge me? We’ve only been journeying together for one day.
Death Knight: And yet I was forced to listen to your life story three times. I think I know enough to judge.
Dreadlord: Yes, this relic shall bring this village down. Mwahaaha…. I better not finish that laugh…it might be the death of me! Ahaahahhahahaha—cough, cough! Ugh…. plop.
Death Knight: Great, the idiot fainted again. No, don’t get an antidote for your fatal disease, let ME continuously death coil you. Well let me tell you; it doesn’t work on the ladies, just stop pretending. They don’t get attracted by it anymore.
Dreadlord: …ugh…help…brain…bleeding from sudden loss of circulation...
Death Knight: Funny, I never thought an idiot like you would have blood pumping into your brain. Oh, very well! Death Coil!
With that incantation, the Dreadlord is able to get up and feels good as new.
Dreadlord: Now, it is time to turn this ancient relic on.
Death Knight: Well, it seems my day of traveling with you is finally paying off. Ah, now I’ll witness some truly evil deed.
Dreadlord: I must read the relic…I must learn how to operate it…ah, here. It says: Sony Portable Stereo…yes, the name even sounds mighty…and evil!
Dreadlord: INFERNAL!
The Dreadlord waves his arms, lifts up into the air with his mighty wings and…
Death Knight: Fascinating, you can fly. And…that’s it?
Dreadlord: …I waved my arms the wrong way. Sorry. INFERNAL!
This time the dreadlord summons correctly, and the sky gives a mighty crack! The heavens open up and seem to bow down before the might of a furious green meteorite streaking toward the base of the cliff, where the dreadlord and death knight are standing.
Death Knight: You moron! You cast it right on top of us! It’s going to land right—
The death knight fails to finish his sentence, as an earth shattering meteor lands right on top of the two…and thus an infernal is born.
Infernal: ?
Dreadlord: …uhh…below you…
Death Knight: Get him off me…
The Infernal gets up, and his molten, green, fiery body stands at least 10 feet tall.
Dreadlord: …Should I be bleeding from that place?
Death Knight: Funny, I never knew my leg could bend the other way…
Dreadlord: Well, it’s been summoned. I’ll just activate the relic, thus giving my infernal extra power…and then…that village will burn!
The dreadlord looks over the relic, and screams: Sony! Activate! But to no avail.
Death Knight: Try pressing the “on” button…dolt.
The Dreadlord flips the button in the “on” position, and from it comes the most unearthly sound the world has ever heard.
“Burn baby burn baby burn! Burn baby, burn baby burn! It’s the disco Infernal! Burn baby burn baby burn! It’s burning now!
To my surprise, yes! 10 feet high, burning night n day, an unstoppable infernal, coming your way!
The infernal was moving, grooving to the beat, and someone yelled out:
Burn baby, burn baby burn; it’s the disco Infernal! Burn that mother down! Burn baby burn baby, burn…”
Death Knight: Oh my…Ner’Zhul have mercy, the infernal’s dancing!
Dreadlord: More like boogying down, I would say…
Death Knight: Sigh, it's Saturday Night and I have a Fever...
After 3 minutes of observing the total chaos around them...
Death Knight: Do you realize what you’ve done! You just summoned a huge infernal near a heavily populated village, created a crater the size of Azeroth, made the biggest racket since the 2nd war the humans had with the orcs, and now the Infernal is dancing on the mayors front lawn! Do you know what this means! Half of the sliver hand paladin order will be here any minute, to hunt us down!
Silver Hand Paladin: Did someone mention us?
Lo and behold, 20 paladins have converged on the two hapless undead heroes.
Death Knight: Crap.
And so, with the Infernal off dancing on the mayor’s front lawn, and 20 fully trained paladins surrounding the two Undead Heroes, their situation looks bleak. Will they get away safely in time to star in the next chapter?
Silver Hand Paladin: Not if I can help it.