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ParodyCraft Chapter 1
Story by Koss_Knights.
Just use your knowledge of warcraft 3 and use your imagination.
ENJOY!
In the deep wastes of the Barrens a Human Castle stands atop a cliff. This bastion of human power has not gone unobserved. The Orcish Horde has learned of its secret location and it wishes to destroy it. A brave Tauren Chieftain has decided to aide a legion of orcs to take the castle by FORCE!
Ye Olde Interview:
Orcish Warlord: So, youre a hero?
Chieftain: Last time I checked.
Orcish Warlord: As a hero, you have certain spells and abilities? Hmm .youre a Tauren Chieftain. According to your resume, of course.
Chieftain: I have a resume?
Orcish Warlord: Err when you become a hero, the Altar Association makes up a resume. You didnt know what?
Chieftain: Well, Im a little senile with age maybe all those peace pipes hurt me a bit too
Orcish Warlord: Youre senile? Uh, lets get off that subject. Lets take a look at the abilities section of your resume. First up: War Stomp.
Chieftain: Uh, more like a War Gimp now. I broke my hoof recently. I wont stun units anymore. Instead, I limp at them dangerously.
Orcish Warlord: <Long Pause> Ok lets look at your 2nd skill. Endurance Aura. It still works, correct?
Chieftain: Well, not since Woodstock. Now its more like: Drag the Hero Around Aura. Im so tired focusing my mind on working the aura, my troops have to drag me around the battlefield.
Orcish Warlord: Uh well, lets look at your 3rd skill. Shockwave. At least THAT works, right? Youve still got some muscle in you!
Chieftain: Actually, it doesnt work very well anymore. I dont have enough strength in me to swing my halberd. I use it as a walking stick now. But I can use: Swing at Them Menacingly. I shake my fist and complain at them.
Orcish Warlord: Does that work like a Mountain Giants taunt skill?
Chieftain: Yes, yes it does. Except when I use the Swing at Them Menacingly skill, they dont attack. They laugh instead. Then my army could get free hits.
Orcish Warlord: Excellent! You stun them! with laughter, but nonetheless, free hits are always a boon.
Chieftain: Theres one problem though. The enemy laughs, sure, but so do my OWN troops.
Orcish Warlord: And I became a warlord for this ? Ok, lets look at your ultimate. Reincarnation. Does that work?
Chieftain: Of course! It requires no power or strength to use! Its passive! But if I fall in battle, I cant get up
Orcish Warlord: <Groan! > Wait! Dont go! I know how to take advantage of youuh, I mean how to use your talented services. Ill give you command of a Legion of Grunts! You are to attack the human position with that army. Now off with you.
Chieftain: ..Wheres the door?
Orcish Warlord: Behind you
An hour later
Advisor: Sir, was it wise to give that senile old cow command of a legion of grunts?
Orchish Warlord: Of course! You fool! They cant even ATTACK the castle, its on a cliff! I sent them out as a diversion
Advisor: Ah, excellent, your evil, yet tastefully corrupt plan gives me goosebumps!
Orcish Warlord: I dont pay you to suck up! You can forget about that burrow in Florida! Im not paying for it!